Guilt and Confusion
by Fleur06
Summary: This is after season 2 of Tangle, i would love Spiros to come back but don't think he will, so have written a story based on him not coming back.  This is after Christine still slept with him


_This is after season 2, and Christine still slept with Spiros, but as I would love Spiros to come back and Don to be able to film, in case he couldn't I wrote a part on that. Hope it doesn't happen though_

Walking back into the empty house Christine finally has time to think, lying on the couch with a glass of wine, she didn't want to think. Closing her eyes, she can smell him, feel him on top of her, feel him inside of her.

The guilt there, she is a catholic, a strict catholic, one who has now cheated, it was bad enough they kissed each other in her office or in the car when Max caught them, she can still fill his lips upon hers, his gentle touch.

The guilt there because she wants to do it all again, in a heartbeat she would make love to him again, Tim needn't find out and even after him cheating on her with Nat, she wonders how she will live with it all. Could she keep the guilt all to herself, would she even be able to tell anyone, could she tell Ally.

Hearing the front door open, she sees Max walk up the stairs, glancing at his mum "Where were you this afternoon when I called you" Looking up at him briefly "Out walking, I didn't hear my phone ring" Looking at his mum "I thought you said running?" Looking at Max "walking/running the same thing", seeing Max look at her closely "You were with him, weren't you"

Hoping her eyes weren't betraying her "I came when you called Max" Looking at his mum "Are you leaving dad?"

Thinking back again "I don't know Max, I just don't know" hearing him thump up the stairs

Walking up to the bedroom she hears her phone beep with a message, smiling "Arrived at Singapore will ring when I'm settled." Lying on the bed her phone beeps again, opening the message from Spiros "Lying here all alone thinking of you"

Turning on her side, tears forming in her eyes, confusion and guilt building up, her heart wanting to run back to his side, lie in bed with him, her head telling her totally different things, what am I going to do.

Knocking on the door the following morning, Christine waits until Ally answers it. Looking at her friend, Ally makes them a cup of coffee, waiting for her to open up. Looking up at Ally, the guilt there as she blurts out "I slept with Spiros yesterday" Seeing Ally trying not to show the shock as she continues "I can't believe it, all these years I've hated Tim for cheating on me, not being able to forgive him and here I've done the same, Max now wants to go and live with Nat"

Leaning on the bench looking at Christine "So Max found out, did he catch you", looking at Ally "he caught us kissing a few days ago in the car"

Walking over to the table and putting the coffees down trying not to show her shock over what Christine is saying "what are you going to do?"

Shaking her head "I don't know Ally, Spiros makes me feel so special, loved, when I'm with him I feel like I'm 20 and falling in love again. Tim, I feel like I've been with him forever, and the Nat thing, where do I fit in with him, he's now in Singapore"

"Do you love Spiros Christine, and do you love Tim?" Ally asks her friend

Looking at the coffee in front of her "I don't know, Ally, I don't know who I am at the moment, I hated that Tim cheated on me, something I still can't get over, we're moved on and been happy, but its always there, especially now Nat's back" taking a sip of the coffee "I Just don't know what to do, Tim's in Singapore, Spiros is here. Do I save my marriage or leave Tim and see if things work out with Spiros."

Sipping her coffee, Ally looks at Christine "Do you enjoy being with Spiros"

A smile spreading across her face "Yes, he makes me feel special and I'm drawn to him, I tried to fight my feelings for so long, told him to go away, but he kept pursuing it, I gave in to him, as soon as Tim had left, I slept with him"

Looking at Christine, Ally would never had expected her friend to cheat or Tim "Does he want more?"

Looking across the table at Ally "I think he does" then her voice lowered "ever since I met him at the dinner at our place, there was something there, he came to my office and I ended up kissing him there, and then his car, I've been trying to fight the feelings of infidility for so long, he made it so hard"

Reaching for Christine's hand "you need to do what is best and right for you", giving Ally a half smile her voice soft and low "if only I knew what that is, I can't lose Max too Ally, he's my son."

Driving around, Christine arrives at a park, walking over to the chair by the lake, looking over the lake, images of the day before going through her mind, what would of happened, if Max didn't call, would she have spend the whole night with him, would they have done more than they did, her eyes filled with guilt and confusion, even when she was in bed with him, as he put the condom on, she could of pulled away then, part of her wanted too, but she couldn't. Putting her head in her hands, she closes her eyes, unable to get the images out of her head, she heads back to the car.

Arriving at the Catholic church a short time later, she walks inside, shes always been such a good catholic girl, sitting on the pew, maybe this will help. Hearing footsteps near by, she looks up as she sees the parish father there, "I'm here if you need to talk Christine", looking up at him her eyes filled with guilt and confusion, how could she tell him what she has done, would he look at her the same again, let her back into the church, trying to give even a half smile, she shakes her head "I'll be fine", sitting down next to her "sometimes it is easier to share your problems and burdens than keep them to yourself". Not even looking at him "Not this time,"

Reaching for her hand "what ever it is Christine, It can not be that bad" getting up off her seat, turning to him "Some things are, and can not be forgiven" before walking out.

Arriving back at her house, she sees Max's bags downstairs, turning to her son "I'm going to live with Nat for a while", grabbing him "Please Max, don't leave, I want you to stay, you can't leave" her voice pleading and begging, she can't lose her son not now "Max, we can work this out, just stay"

Turning to face Christine "I need to go mum, it won't be forever, but at the moment I can't be in this house with you, not if your going to be with him"

Shaking her head her voice thick with emotion "Max, I need you, you have to stay", shaking his head at Christine "I can't" then as he picks up his bags facing Christine "You brought this upon yourself mum when you cheated on Dad", getting angry her voice loud "what about me Max, how many times has your father cheated on me, what about Nat, I'm not the one in the wrong here". Looking at his mum, he wants to run back over to her, he doesn't know who she is anymore, she's not the mother she was "I'm only a phone call away, I'll still call you and drop by, its not like you won't ever see me again. I just need to do this, what you did to Dad was wrong"

Looking at Max the tears starting to form in her eyes, her voice begging "I don't want you to go Max, we can work this out"

Turning to face his mum at the door "Are you going to leave DAD and go to be with Spiros?", seeing his mum not answering straight away "I don't know Max, its complicated"

Hearing the car horn beep "Only because you've made it that way, I've got to go", dropping his bags, he walks over to Christine hugging her crying body "I love you mum, and that won't change" hearing her whisper back "I love you too Max". Watching Max move away from her, picking up his bags and walking out the door, she walks over to the fridge, pouring herself a glass of wine, as the tears fall down her face.

Rubbing her hands over her eyes and face, wiping away the tears, how did her life get like this, no husband, no son. Hearing her phone ring, she picks it up, hearing Spiros's voice on the phone, picking up her car keys she drives over to his place, standing outside, she brings her hand up to the buzzer, not able to press it, was it only two days ago, she was up in the apartment sleeping with him, in bed with another man, shaking her head she runs back to the car, sitting in the drivers seat she can't do it, she cant' cheat on her husband, if things are to work out, she needs to speak to Tim first, driving away tears form in her eyes.

Pulling up outside the house, Christine walks up to the door, knocking on the door it isn't long before Nat answers, storming inside her voice loud "he's my son, you can not take my son away from me, he's not yours but mine."

Looking at Christine inside her house "You've had him all his life Christine, its my turn now to know my son. He's my son, I gave birth to him Christine not you. He is my son, and living here now, get used to that"

The anger in her voice "I will never get used to him living here, you're a bad influence on him Nat". Raising her eyes at Christine "Your not, why is it he wants to live with ME now Christine, that's right ME not you, what did YOU do that sent him running here"

Slapping Nat across the face she hears a gasp "Mum", looking up she sees Max "Mum, I'm living here now, you can't just come and hit her",

Seeing the smug smile on Nat's face as she puts her arms around Max "I think you better go now"

Arriving back at the empty house, Christine, walks inside, finishing the bottle of wine she stumbles up to the empty bed, hearing the phone ring, answering it, hearing Tim's voice on the phone, one thing she knows she can't tell him what she did, as much as she wants to be with Spiros, Tim is here husband for the time being.

Hanging up the phone from Tim, Christine calls Spiros, hearing his sexy deep voice on the phone, she knows she needs to be strong, she can't meet him to tell him face to face, she can't see him again, it was wrong, she is married.

Waking up the following morning, she sees a text on her phone, opening it up the message is brief and simple from Spiros "I've left Melbourne, hope to see you and be with you one day when your ready"

Closing the message, the tears fall from her face, the guilt will be there, but not only from sleeping with him, the fact that she is more in love with Spiros than her own husband, and wants to be with him, and now he's left, she wants to see him again, feel his lips against hers. Bringing her hand up to her lips she closes her eyes, she can still feel his lips tenderly against hers, the first time they kissed in her office. Maybe one day.


End file.
